John Kennedy, Jr was a handsome, charming, decent man . . . the first two were obvious and the last point I think has been proven, as well, on many occasions with hundreds of testimonials

Part of my issues with QaCON involve what I see as, basically, slandering the dead; JFK, Jr (sadly) is no longer alive

and to continue this madness of suggesting he faked his death and is back (and this ridiculous looking buffoon is "him") and will be supporting his "close friend" donald trump

annoys the fuck out of me

which is pretty much true for everything about QaCON

my photos with John and me are sort of a surrealist agit-prop response to their madness

can we let the dead, please, "live in peace"
​
#imposter

so, we live in Crazy Town, can't walk outside without looking like a cross between Jesse James and Dr. KIldare . . . there's no place to sit inside, no place to go, sports are weird as fuck with no crowd and well . . . shit be whack

of course, we find ways to entertain ourselves, nonetheless . . . lately I am doing hard-core porn . . . house porn

I go on trulia and look in the cities that fit my fantasy I have money 'cause I'm a popstar, not a doctor so these be, primarily, NYC and LA

but I will look at other cities, too, because people can be ostentatious as fuck in Dallas or McLean, VA, too

and there is this crazee technology called "Matterport" where you can click on it and literally walk through the house

and measure the walls, for when you move in and put your book cases along the walls and figure out where your menagerie of assorted oddities would fit best

and then, when I'm housed out, I watch music videos (or sports stuff) on youtube

and, of course, I see people in these videos and it makes my brain rev the fuck up

and I start trying to figure out "ok, Missy . . . who the fuck where you in 1942?"

so, yeah . . . past lives

the past 24 hours I especially be trippin'
​
'cause I'm watching all these videos of Elle King -- why?

because her house is #for_sale in LA and it has built in bookcases and I'm watching her videos and I'm in love (with her house AND her) and then youtube ('cause youtube is tricky as fuck and will "suggest" shit)

decides to throw down some extra fuckery and I see a new video of Miley Cyrus and I actually like Miley Cyrus (because I think she looks like my daughter, Riana, especially when she was Hannah Montana -- which Riana HATES . . . much like when I hated having 12 year old girls once come up all giggly 'n shit asking me if I was Shaun Cassidy, because, I was way the fuck better looking, up close, than Shaun Fuckn Cassidy !!!!)

anyway . . . I #digress

so I am watching this video of Miley Cyrus ("Midnight Sky" -- the live version in the "Live Lounge") and she looks pretty much dead the fuck on

LIKE MY MOTHER

is life not whack enough

youtube? really ??

really really ??

you be playin' me like this ??

so, yeah, Miley Cyrus (imo) looks like my mom (now) and also Jane Fonda (I think) who, of course, #looks_like_my_mom

so then my PRIMAY Covid 19 getaway is doing photo overlays with everyone -- this person looks like him, that person looks like her, you're an alien and YOU are an alien, too MF

but an alien from "my planet"

nanoo nanoo

yeah, I'm weird . . . what CAN I say ??

and I am trying to find a photo of Miley Cyrus that matches the one (and one only) photo of my mother when she was young where she's not sticking her tongue out

or her butt out (I am referencing Miley, here, btw)

and . . . it's complicated but I found one, anyway

and then I see this video for Drake's latest song and it is Justin Bieber lip synching the lyrics; wt actual fuck

and I have said this a million times . . . I never really believed I looked all that much like Shaun Fuckn Cassidy

but I (for sure) "in the day" looked like Justin Bieber and the #latest Justin Bieber looks even more "like me" and well
I get it; I'm strange

way the fuck strange

but (hopefully) as least moderately entertaining

which leads me to my final thought

and that is: Billie Eilish

who I have said is the #reincarnation

of

FRANK SINATRA (here is the link to when I first posted this: https://www.andrew-brewer.com/my-blog/i-believe-billie-eilish-is-the-reincarnation-of

so at 4:30 in the morning I was STILL up now watching old videos of Frankie in the 1940's and breathlessly going back and forth

looking at pics of BIllie

comparing her "to Frank"

I am not Justin Bieber or JFK, Jr . . . my mom isn't Hannah Montana's grandmother

but I still think, nutty as it sounds, that Billie Eilish is the, literal, reincarnation of Frank Sinatra

what's in YOUR wallet?
​
peace out, MF's

​I am closer to age 70 now than 60 and closer to 100 than 30 -- that's pretty freaky . . . as a #former (or is that "reformed") pretty boy soon (enough) off to a different body and a different set of experiences

I am in a contemplative kind of space . . . each of us brings unique sets of talents and tendencies "with us"

my mother never let shit go and it destroyed her and much as I tried to talk to her to "help her" move past it, it (ultimately) just made ME annoyed with her and, rather than help her

served, instead, just to make me more "like her"

this (as they say) is/was not #good

I spend a LOT of time trying to find past lives and (for me, more importantly) trying to understand where I "came from" and what, might, come next

In part, I do this through observation of my thinking and my behavior "patterns" (which helps me understand the patterns of others; which helps me "do my job")

and, in part, in attempting to understand how I "appear" so as to better understand "where I fit"

I have had a unique set of experiences -- every life is special, every life a singular progression

but, even knowing that, I think my life (in particular) is very "different" than #the_norm

I have lived through disasters -- some of my own making (probably MOST of my own making) and some that happened around me, yet had serious impacts on my life's "path"

and perhaps more than all other skills, I have (somehow) learned to help myself deal with the after effects of those disasters

I come from a family of crazy people -- literally

and they were certainly pretty and charming and all that -- but not all that deep down, crazy as fuck

no doubt, this exact thing has been said about me, too -- pretty and charming but crazy as fuck

it's good to be pretty (it is a door opener, par excellence) and charming is always a handy tool

but the crazy as fuck part often tended to blank out the short-term benefits (real as they most certainly were)

of the pretty and charming parts

there are lots of my friends who are also pretty and charming yet have been called, primarily because they march to their OWN unique beats

"crazy as fuck"

for those who have heard this

I feel ya and love ya (from afar)

there are ways to navigate and ways to deal with the wild ride that comes with "the label"

and even if the pretty may have faded

the knowledge of how to deal with being "called crazy"

and (irony) "stay zane"

is your GREATEST super power

for those who have rolled through the shit and (as was so often said about me, "back in the day") still smell like roses
be thankful

because this was the hardest, loneliest, scariest road on which to travel

your karmic rewards will be great

and your golden years (and mine are calling me loud loud loud)

a time to honor the journey

YOUR JOURNEY

even if it scared you and made you #crazee

at the time

it has benefits and as you (inevitably) move on down the road

you will see this is, truly (now), your greatest "possession"
​
hash tag #evolution 

just because the world is insane and the economy is whack and people are believing crazee shit

doesn't mean Mother Earth is chillin' and all zen and shit thinkin' y'all have #enough to deal with already
​
don't be surprised if the Old Girl doesn't decide, just to make sure 2020 is "truly memorable" . . . to fuck some shit up . . . hash tag #the_environment

Evangelicals and "prosperity preachers" are, far as I can see, pretty much destroying not just Christianity but Religion, in general

I am very much a Christian (in my own, unique, way) . . . this doesn't mean I don't "believe in" things most Christians would lose their minds over

nor does it preclude a love and deep appreciation for Judaism + Islam and many other religious faiths . . . I am way more a religious seeker than a New Age kind of dude; never doubt this

my #faith never wavers

even though I am constantly annoyed with what I see "in the world"

I believe in Religion, even though we all know the "institution" has been hijacked for hundreds and hundreds of years to support political and economic power

You can be a Christian, imo, and believe in reincarnation and discount all the nonsense about "women submitting" (hash tag #bullshit) and be "a psychic", too . . . you say prophet, I say clairvoyant

and feel a deep love and kinship with people who practice "competing" religions, as well -- if they come with a good heart (and of course there are people of pure hearts in all religions, somewhere or another)

there is truth in Religion

it is just buried

because its "truth" doesn't support oppression and so oppressors "suppress it"

I am much closer in my religious faith to Christianity than to more "New Agey" types of practices

this often surprises people when I say this
​
but it is very much, for me, my personal truth

there was simply no way (that I could see) where I could learn what I wanted/needed to learn

by following all the paths laid out before me; I made mistakes, I felt (and still feel) confused, I stumbled and struggled and moved forward, as best I could

I wanted a clear path but I didn't see one -- maybe there was one waiting for me all along, but I just could not see it and so I walked whatever walk I could walk and tried to gather what I saw and felt all up into some hodgepodge sack

with the notion it might all make sense "one day"

it is ok to walk down paths that lead to nowhere, provided you don't give up looking for roads that will, eventually, go forward

more than all other things, this is what my "pursuit" of knowledge
​
has given me, the recognition that loose ends eventually will make a beautiful bow, if you just keep moving

if trump has to subvert the entire DOJ to avoid prosecution on a rape charge

does this really suggest "he's the man" to root out the pedophiles ?? QaCON job
​
#swamp_the_drain

Two days ago, out of nowhere, I woke up thinking about Tom Seaver . . . why ???

today I see that Tom Seaver, easily one of the greatest pitchers in the history of baseball, and someone I saw pitch live and 3D

died, at age 75, from complications of Covid 19. It also appears as if he died right about the time I started thinking about him as the announcement of his death came on Wednesday but he actually died Monday evening
​
I call these things "drive-by psychic" and they never make much sense until, typically a day or two later, they do . . . All respect to "Tom Terrific", once upon a time considered THE greatest pitcher in the game

t is not a long way from "creating your own reality" to believing you have #special powers as a "creator"

not a long way from thinking those who "don't do it your way" are less than you and from there only a few more blocks to thinking they don't deserve to have what you have since you are magical and "making things happen"

this is one way in which people initially seeking spiritual truth can fall into a space in which they feel "superior" and deserve special things and begin supporting political ideologies that encourage one group being "more special" than another
​
hash tag #dangerzone