I am in a contemplative kind of space . . . each of us brings unique sets of talents and tendencies "with us"
my mother never let shit go and it destroyed her and much as I tried to talk to her to "help her" move past it, it (ultimately) just made ME annoyed with her and, rather than help her
served, instead, just to make me more "like her"
this (as they say) is/was not #good
I spend a LOT of time trying to find past lives and (for me, more importantly) trying to understand where I "came from" and what, might, come next
In part, I do this through observation of my thinking and my behavior "patterns" (which helps me understand the patterns of others; which helps me "do my job")
and, in part, in attempting to understand how I "appear" so as to better understand "where I fit"
I have had a unique set of experiences -- every life is special, every life a singular progression
but, even knowing that, I think my life (in particular) is very "different" than #the_norm
I have lived through disasters -- some of my own making (probably MOST of my own making) and some that happened around me, yet had serious impacts on my life's "path"
and perhaps more than all other skills, I have (somehow) learned to help myself deal with the after effects of those disasters
I come from a family of crazy people -- literally
and they were certainly pretty and charming and all that -- but not all that deep down, crazy as fuck
no doubt, this exact thing has been said about me, too -- pretty and charming but crazy as fuck
it's good to be pretty (it is a door opener, par excellence) and charming is always a handy tool
but the crazy as fuck part often tended to blank out the short-term benefits (real as they most certainly were)
of the pretty and charming parts
there are lots of my friends who are also pretty and charming yet have been called, primarily because they march to their OWN unique beats
"crazy as fuck"
for those who have heard this
I feel ya and love ya (from afar)
there are ways to navigate and ways to deal with the wild ride that comes with "the label"
and even if the pretty may have faded
the knowledge of how to deal with being "called crazy"
and (irony) "stay zane"
is your GREATEST super power
for those who have rolled through the shit and (as was so often said about me, "back in the day") still smell like roses
because this was the hardest, loneliest, scariest road on which to travel
your karmic rewards will be great
and your golden years (and mine are calling me loud loud loud)
a time to honor the journey
even if it scared you and made you #crazee
at the time
it has benefits and as you (inevitably) move on down the road
you will see this is, truly (now), your greatest "possession"
hash tag #evolution