then you are ready to fly
if the "hatred" for what has happened to you is stronger than your love of self (and love of others, too)
. . . then the forces of "resistance" outweigh the forces of positive change
and like a race car that doesn't adequately accommodate air flow, you are subject to blow off course
the aerodynamics of your inner state must be balanced between "flow" (self-love) and "drag" (self-hate)
psychological physics 101