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you can't tell the players without . . .

7/4/2017

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I have spent nearly 40 years now searching in a constant needle in a haystack universe of possibility

trying to (a) discover my "past lives" and (b) understand how it all "works"

seeing past lives for me, now anyway, is pretty easy . . . but the nuances (especially if themes repeat) often "overlap" making specific details sometimes more #complicated !!

the names/faces I "discover" (or which discover me) are the result of a long tedious process; the closest analogy I can think of would be someone looking through books of photos
​
at the police, trying to ID the man who stole your purse; you know basic details but the process of individually scrolling through thousands or tens of thousands of matches

can be frustrating and VERY time consuming; sometimes, you think you find a match, only later to realize the pieces (though sooooo close) are not close enough

and your hard-earned "victory" tossed back into a stormy sea of "maybe"

this is how it works (for me); sometimes they are just handed to me

but usually, they are the result of a serious almost obsessive "quest" to find some piece of "truth"

would my life have been more productive, glamorous, financially secure had I skipped all this?

without a doubt !!!

but I said to myself when I was 23 years old "I will give up everything to find this answer"

not knowing that was exactly what I was going to be forced to give up: everything (else)

however, I get closer and closer and closer every passing year to finding "me" and finding "why"

and that, for me, makes up for everything else
​
I had to give up in order to have the time and freedom to keep looking
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