(Originally published on Facebook -- September 9. 2014)
I am still amazed that it took this long for the NFL to "recognize" that condoning violence against women -- which its original luke warm slap on the wrist did
is not something that should be taken lightly
I was appalled at the time that a video in which a professional football player is seen DRAGGING AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN off the elevator
was not seen for what it was -- an incredibly violent act by a man -- again a professional football player
against a woman
and no matter how much money a man makes -- or what his level of Fame
we CANNOT accept this behavior
The NFL doesn't get it . . . and I appreciate the outrage against him has now forced their hand
but they shouldn't have needed to gauge public outrage before they acted
it was outrageous already
they should have done this straight away
a young woman unconscious on an elevator shouldn't have to give her side of the story nor take responsibility for her "part in it"
when you knock her out, no matter what "reason"
the game is over -- there is no justification, period
all his touchdowns, to me, "don't mean shit"
he did this himself (to himself, as well) . . . and that, to me, is "the truth"
. . . On Twitter, the #1 "trending" topic is domestic abuser and former Ravens RB Ray Rice -- on FB, the #1 "trending" topic is also about an East Coast NFL RB
LeSean McCoy, who reportedly left a small tip at a Philadelphia restaurant
not a peep about Ray Rice, which as my pal Michelle pointed out to me -- something I had to confirm for myself
is kind of "odd"
In Nashville last year I had several "incidents" in which I opened my mouth in situations where white men were either talking shit about "minorities"
or were openly spouting off to "foreign minorities" that they "didn't belong here"
I am sure the nice white boys were super-surprised when the crazed Russian mafioso "actor" got in their face
but somebody needs to do it -- and it shouldn't have to ONLY be the individuals in the "minority" who do it, either; we (in this case, "white people") need to stand up and say behavior that is racist is unacceptable and we will not tolerate it -- even though the direct connection to how it may impact us may not be readily apparent
(oh it's there, but not everyone can go down the trail to see it)
same thing holds true regarding both domestic violence against women and the systemic belittling and disenfranchisement of WOMEN
which is done EVERY DAY
as MEN, we need to stand up and say this behavior is ALSO unacceptable and that we support women and want them to feel safe
and have opportunities, EQUAL opportunities, just like the rest of us
a man's FEAR of a woman's SEXUAL POWER
is not a reason to do this to her -- because to me, it all comes down to that
I have been in situations where my girl friend has been angry with me and punched me but I never ever hit back
that is a choice
and also a standard of behavior -- this does not condone their behavior to me
but it does reinforce, in my mind, the obligation we (as men, who are likely more physically powerful than a woman -- although this is not always the case) have to find a calm respectful space in which to move forward
bottom line, to me -- violence against women is a serious serious problem
and the best defense we have against this is for MEN to continue to take measures to make sure it stops
this "action" by the NFL to "protect" Ray Rice wasn't, to me, ABOUT Ray Rice -- it was about the NFL and the NFL OWNERS saying "we are powerful men" and we AS powerful men
say what's acceptable and what isn't it
there is a whole lot of political rhetoric in the air of late saying some crazy things regarding a "woman's place"
the NFL was simply reinforcing their "perceived right" to say a woman's place is being quiet on Sunday afternoon so I can watch the GAME
I am a long-time Cincinnati Bengals FAN (which means I have suffered a long time, as well) and finally they have an amazing team that should do very well
but it will be hard for me to take any NFL games seriously anymore
we need to change the "rhetoric" in this culture which means, on a collective level, we need our minds to change on a collective level, as well
I don't quite get why some men want to still act like cave men 'cause, look around boyz, we don't live anymore in a fuckn cave
all discrimination: race, gender, sexual orientation, religion etc etc etc
needs to GO
it is TIME . . . for MEN to stand up and say "this shit is DONE"
period
end of fuckn story
I am still amazed that it took this long for the NFL to "recognize" that condoning violence against women -- which its original luke warm slap on the wrist did
is not something that should be taken lightly
I was appalled at the time that a video in which a professional football player is seen DRAGGING AN UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN off the elevator
was not seen for what it was -- an incredibly violent act by a man -- again a professional football player
against a woman
and no matter how much money a man makes -- or what his level of Fame
we CANNOT accept this behavior
The NFL doesn't get it . . . and I appreciate the outrage against him has now forced their hand
but they shouldn't have needed to gauge public outrage before they acted
it was outrageous already
they should have done this straight away
a young woman unconscious on an elevator shouldn't have to give her side of the story nor take responsibility for her "part in it"
when you knock her out, no matter what "reason"
the game is over -- there is no justification, period
all his touchdowns, to me, "don't mean shit"
he did this himself (to himself, as well) . . . and that, to me, is "the truth"
. . . On Twitter, the #1 "trending" topic is domestic abuser and former Ravens RB Ray Rice -- on FB, the #1 "trending" topic is also about an East Coast NFL RB
LeSean McCoy, who reportedly left a small tip at a Philadelphia restaurant
not a peep about Ray Rice, which as my pal Michelle pointed out to me -- something I had to confirm for myself
is kind of "odd"
In Nashville last year I had several "incidents" in which I opened my mouth in situations where white men were either talking shit about "minorities"
or were openly spouting off to "foreign minorities" that they "didn't belong here"
I am sure the nice white boys were super-surprised when the crazed Russian mafioso "actor" got in their face
but somebody needs to do it -- and it shouldn't have to ONLY be the individuals in the "minority" who do it, either; we (in this case, "white people") need to stand up and say behavior that is racist is unacceptable and we will not tolerate it -- even though the direct connection to how it may impact us may not be readily apparent
(oh it's there, but not everyone can go down the trail to see it)
same thing holds true regarding both domestic violence against women and the systemic belittling and disenfranchisement of WOMEN
which is done EVERY DAY
as MEN, we need to stand up and say this behavior is ALSO unacceptable and that we support women and want them to feel safe
and have opportunities, EQUAL opportunities, just like the rest of us
a man's FEAR of a woman's SEXUAL POWER
is not a reason to do this to her -- because to me, it all comes down to that
I have been in situations where my girl friend has been angry with me and punched me but I never ever hit back
that is a choice
and also a standard of behavior -- this does not condone their behavior to me
but it does reinforce, in my mind, the obligation we (as men, who are likely more physically powerful than a woman -- although this is not always the case) have to find a calm respectful space in which to move forward
bottom line, to me -- violence against women is a serious serious problem
and the best defense we have against this is for MEN to continue to take measures to make sure it stops
this "action" by the NFL to "protect" Ray Rice wasn't, to me, ABOUT Ray Rice -- it was about the NFL and the NFL OWNERS saying "we are powerful men" and we AS powerful men
say what's acceptable and what isn't it
there is a whole lot of political rhetoric in the air of late saying some crazy things regarding a "woman's place"
the NFL was simply reinforcing their "perceived right" to say a woman's place is being quiet on Sunday afternoon so I can watch the GAME
I am a long-time Cincinnati Bengals FAN (which means I have suffered a long time, as well) and finally they have an amazing team that should do very well
but it will be hard for me to take any NFL games seriously anymore
we need to change the "rhetoric" in this culture which means, on a collective level, we need our minds to change on a collective level, as well
I don't quite get why some men want to still act like cave men 'cause, look around boyz, we don't live anymore in a fuckn cave
all discrimination: race, gender, sexual orientation, religion etc etc etc
needs to GO
it is TIME . . . for MEN to stand up and say "this shit is DONE"
period
end of fuckn story
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