. . . Many of my past lives were in Central and Eastern Europe in places that have had many names, seen many flags . . . I "see them" and know the basic pieces/parts of their worlds . . . what their houses looked like, what their days were like, the trees in the yard, the furniture, the books on the table, the gloves and top coats by the door, the flowers all throughout the house
I see this, smell this, feel it in my bones -- the clothes, the stolen kisses, all of it
dashing young men with pretty girls and, for a time, fancy uniforms but the world is filled with dashing young men who come and move along . . . I see glimpses of things that "click" but in the days before the wide spread usage of photography
in places in which many of the records have been lost and, if still extant, would be in languages I cannot read nor speak
it is likely that my searching for "dead people" is, ultimately, a "dead end"
my peeps are likely (semi) regular peeps, exceptional in their ways and likely quite noticeable in their personal ponds at the time . . . but not so "important" as to have left a major yes you can google me and find me today imprint on the world
I have my race driver, I have my pretty girl, I have whatever ways of seeing that have come as a result of my searching
I wanted a map with every face -- and I can find faces to put on my map but other than Achille and Claudia, how can I be sure
if you lost your keys over there, why are you on this side of the street under the street lamp? because the light is better on this side
but the keys are still on the other side, in the the dark
I find people and try to see if they fit -- but they don't, even though they look just like me and are also, in many ways, "like" who I am looking for
and so I try to make them fit so I can stop looking -- but they don't fit, even if they have many elements in common with "my people" from long ago
I look and look and look some more . . . only to keep coming up short, over and over again
such is my world :)
I have dozens of "maybes" but other than my pretty girl and my race driver, I don't think any of them "are right"
but who knows
does this #negate my search for meaning or attempt to understand how we #reincarnate ??
and so I must make peace with this fact
I may still find them, all of them, but I also #may_not