but to do this you must, first, change your habits
because your habits are the "reason" you're not who you want "to be"
change your habits and your life will change, too
and yeah, I know you're thinking (I'm psychic, remember !!)
"how, exactly, do I change my habits ??"
find something you fear
that's right -- something you FEAR
and in thinking about that fear, look at how "keeping these habits" would perhaps actually bring about the thing you fear
and then look, REALLY LOOK, at what you're willing to do to avoid that thing "someday coming true"
habits are, without any doubt, based on motivation and motivation is largely based on fear and its avoidance
. . . I don't really mind THAT MUCH that I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but if I thought I would NEVER have one, EVER
ok, yeah that scares the fuck out of me . . . maybe I really SHOULD think about changing this that and whatever else
. . . It is not soooooo terrible sleeping on my brother's couch -- but if he got tired of me and I had to sleep in the street
maybe I need to do these things I don't really want to so that doesn't / can't "happen"
people's thought process often works like this: being in this "space" bothers me (of course) but doing the things I would need to do to change . . . "scares me"
and right now this "situation" doesn't bother me nearly as much
. . . as doing the things "I should do"
in order to change it
and until I am scared and really own what "could happen", avoiding short-term pain is the "typical choice"
but when the pain of what could happen really gets LOUD, then the thought process shifts to . . .
oh fuck, I don't want that !! -- ok, "how do I change this?"
now the motivation kicks in because fear is driving it
that is typically the thought process underscoring "changing a long standing habit"
not that you want to accomplish something -- EVERYBODY wants to accomplish something
but few actually do the work to achieve that goal
but when the fear of something is great enough, then people are "motivated"
and once motivated, it is NEVER TOO LATE to change
for the better