are grounded in unresolved "stuff" from long long ago -- most likely with our parents but also quite possibly with "past life memories" that creep into the psychological/emotional "jet stream"
Exploring past lives is a pretty good tool (I think -- but I am probably biased . . . but only a little) for exploring "why"
a little bit Edgar Cayce, a little bit Sigmund Freud
and, as a result of what we find while exploring, releasing and "moving past" the patterns
that repeat
and the reason they repeat ?? -- they are simply echoes trying to "tell us" something
and until we listen to what they're trying to say, we will keep doing things that give us reason
to listen
to what they're trying to tell us
that we, quite obviously, continue to ignore
because it we "paid attention" we wouldn't need "the lesson"
in the first place