some people "choose lives" with extra dosages of pain because they're brave souls who want to grow . . . "quickly"
and those who choose this path almost always do so for a reason . . . even if that reason isn't obvious just yet
there can be (and typically is) a positive "payoff" after you have "accepted the lesson"
conversely -- those who are struggling may be spiritual warriors and if you see them that way, you can help them more quickly learn and move ahead
good for them, perhaps also good for you, as well
as what they've learned, they may also share