Follow Me on:
Andrew Brewer
  • HOME
  • ENDORSEMENTS
  • CONTACT

Grief Shamed

6/15/2019

0 Comments

 
Any of us who have suffered a profound and traumatic loss -- especially, I think, if it was sudden and sort of out of the blue

have, more likely than not, suffered an internal "shut down" -- I was a polite, together, "successful" 51 year old man; I had a fancy job and I was VERY conscious of making sure others were not made uncomfortable by my grief

in retrospect, this was the worst thing I could do; I blew up internally, bottled it, tried to "ignore it" and then, quite simply, quietly fell apart, all my Humpty Dumpties never to go back together

for any of you who have suffered these profound catastrophic losses (mine the stillbirth of my daughter) it is ok to be a little selfish in your needs

people grow tired of those who wear their grief out loud, don't want to "catch" what you have

and so it is natural that we learn to "shut up"

but being isolated is likely the worst thing you can do

I was, pretty much literally, charisma on a stick up until then

and perhaps because of this self-image (what I erroneously for 13 years thought my "asset" to self-healing)

I refused help

don't be like me

if you need time, you need it; if your rainbow is black, that's what it is

don't be "grief shamed"

because, truth be told, there is nothing to be ashamed of for feeling down when terrible things happen

we live in a society of instant gratification, memes and Instagram

there is often little room for those who are broken

and the ones seemingly keeping it together may be the ones with the most fractured pieces
​
don't try to do it all by yourself
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

     Updates are Published on Facebook

    most of my
    work can be found there

    real time

    the blog page
    is but a small sample
    ​of prior posts

    I also did not copy over any FB posts from February until August but all my predictions
    are there

    if you would like to compare them to what happened

    Please Follow Me @www.facebook.com/andrew.brewer

    Categories

    All

    Archives

    May 2021
    January 2021
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    July 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012

    RSS Feed