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Gas LIT

5/10/2019

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the good news; watching trump and all the southern racist hillbilly enablers and gaslighters and narrow-minded anti-intellectual dicks

has triggered the living fuck out of me, FORCING ME to examine why "southern racist hillbilly enablers and gaslighters and narrow-minded anti-intellectual dicks" gets to me sooooooo much

of course, Freud on speed dial, this is due to a lifetime of living on the fringes of "southern racist hillbilly enablers and gaslighters and narrow-minded anti-intellectual dicks" . . . and so, like millions of others, my dysfunctional mind fuck childhood

is knocking over Aunt Pitty Pat's good china

and shaking shit up

the amazing part is how I've done so much with the time bomb "pre-programmed" killers in my head

the bad news (#2) -- there are plenty of pre-programmed mind fucks doing their mind fuck thing

they need to go, trump needs to go, the bull shit in my head and live and 3D on the news

needs 2 GO

there are dark stains in many of our golden memories . . . I am, at my root, "conditioned" to only go so far, to "be dependent" (thanks, Mom), to think only people who know other people can succeed (thanks, Dad) and that if only I was XY and Z I would be ok but since I can't be those things (see Mom and Dad 'wisdom")

then I'm an inconsistent crazy train fuck-up and well, shit's not gonna work

being a beautiful talented artistic wastrel is an act designed to buy me some time so I can eat and maybe have a few good moments

since my #truth is: I am not good enough and will always be dependent on others

this, of course, is bull shit

unless you happen to unconsciously be pre-wired to accept it as so

and well -- then . . . there's likely to be some

#complications

I am trying to work out why these things "in my head" do #whatTHEYdo

"shaman college" . . . good times

or not

Twenty First Century Boy
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