of course, this is really "code" for saying I was lost and needed help to find something within myself to which I could "attach"
something I could love . . . also, in my case, I had the added "bonus" of having visions, being both telepathic AND telekinetic, and also being notoriously "eccentric" -- even in the glamour boy jock "babe magnet" periods of my life
which (and without being good in sports and fairly good-looking, literally -- in my case, base currency in connection) allowed me to mingle a bit "with the natives"
even with that -- because without sports and "my looks", I would have been ostracized soooooo much more
I was still always considered sort of weird
. . . we are given certain gifts and there is a reason; I am not smart enough nor "plugged in" enough to tell you all those reasons
but I do "know" that we have the divine spark within us and each bit within us matches up with the divine bits within others
to make a really amazing tapestry
God is an artist
good art has contrasts, it utilizes line and color in bold ways
we are pieces of this amazing work of Art
to embrace our role in this drama, to see ourselves as perfect functional components of something huge and truly beautiful
is to help the moving parts "move"
in harmony
harmony is God's wish; anyone who has ever directed a play or worked production on a film understands the complexities of getting everyone "on board"
with what they need to do in order that the play or film "works" best
when we accept that we are integral pieces of a geater whole, unique and magical and VITAL
yet still just a piece of a bigger artistic endeavor
then things will go more smoothly for us . . . as the scripts work for everyone
and to find "your motivation" though scene study and allowing the theme of the play to lead you
rather than stand in your way
once you do this, you will find that your life makes more sense, is easier in every way
and you will be more in "harmony" with your part
I may want to be the romantic lead in a film but perhaps, instead, I am perfectly suited to be the eccentric Russian killer who loves birds and rare books
in embracing what I have that is special -- owning it, knowing that I am special and beautiful because I am perfect for a particular role
and not moaning (too much) that I want to be/do something else
in going there, I find myself
and when I "find myself", God is happy
as parents, we want our childen to find what makes them happy and make a life they enjoy
so, too, God with us
we are all connected . . . children who find love for themselves will also find a spark of love for their parents
as parents we all hope this will be true
so, too, God with us
hoping we love ourselves so we can, also, love our parents
and appreciate what they did and tried to do
even if it didn't always make sense at the time