be love first

there is not enough whitewash to erase the pain many of us feel when looking back at our childhoods, no magical "re-start" button to hit

to give us a second chance . . . or some magical pill shot back through time for our parents to ingest, in order to "see who we are"

for many of us, this reeks its own kinds of havoc later on . . . influencing how we see ourselves, the types of "limitations" which we may embrace

since we are taught to believe we deserve nothing better

there is perhaps no greater, nor more damaging arena, in which to see the seeds of childhood dysfunction flourish in our adulthood

than in the areas of love and romance

we "have issues" and these issues repeat

as I say, over and over, "patterns will remain as patterns -- until they (finally) become lessons"

but those lessons take time to learn, if ever

and the classes "hurt"

for each of us, moving past this "hurt" to live and love in a healthy manner -- this is where each of us perhaps, at times, may stumble

to love, without limits or guidelines, after childhoods such as these . . . is never easy

nor is it something many people, who may feel sadness when looking back at their own childhoods

can't just zippi dee do dah step right into

to love, after years of sadness, is not easy to do . . . but that, more than all reasons, is why we are here

why we come back over and over and over again

to embrace that love that dispells the pain from which it is birthed

this is Religion to me -- finding a sense of love within ourselves

is this one person or all people . . . hard to say

although quite often it is triggered by the love of someone special

no matter, for those of us who may have felt this . . . just know it is possible to embrace that sense of love

but you cannot wait for it to find you -- you have to give it away

first