so, too, our relationships with money -- because often an imbalance in one is reflective of an imbalance in the other
when we seek "approval" from others for our (self) worth, we give someone else the keys to our mind; it is our thoughts of what would please them
that drive our behavior
and too often -- and sadly I have gone down this road myself . . . we crash trying to please them when our situations could have been happy and balanced with much less
had we not been "driven"
by having something to "prove"; I realize that we need goals to get ahead and high levels of achievement are fueled by desire. I talk about this all the time
but here is the difference; if it is what YOU want then listening to this desire will propel you forward
if it is a desire to please others, it will also propel you forward
but with an equal counter-balance of energy tilting you sideways
meaning -- load the wagon up too much and it will break down; so, too, will your psychological vehicle tilt if loaded with the thoughts of others
I could easily write a book on this topic here this morning just following this post to its logical endpoint . . . bottom line: think for yourself
just as trying to win someone's approval if they don't really "approve" is usually a fool's game, so (too) the desire to "prove your worth" through money and possessions
if you do this, too often you are asking others to "certify you" as OK
I know we live in a society in which we're judged constantly by our clothes, our cars, our houses, our everything
and it is super easy to get caught up in the net of seeking approval for what "we own" or what we "do"
and for most people, who see this as a matter of course, saying this will sound CRA ZEE
but until you stop basing your decisions on "keeping up with the Joneses" and, instead, on what makes YOU HAPPY
you will be a breath away at all times from destruction
balance is where it's at; balance in money (which I don't have so I am preaching to myself, too) leads to balance in everything else
and I have worked and slaved in the past to have "status" to have a trophy wife kind of partner . . . both attitudes short-sighted and super self-destructive
I learned dysfunction from the best . . . my family was way the fuck on TILT
but I continue to have my eyes opened and continue to move forward
you can do the same
personal "power' is about creating conditions within yourself . . . an audience is usually a bad thing when you're doing this and when you are on TILT (as I was) you probably need your 40 days in the wilderness, alone
to find the self-starter button to fix things
be happy with yourself; if YOU want to do this, DO IT
but if you think Aunt Petunia and the cute girl across the street might like you if you do it . . . and you wish so desperately that they would !!
and THIS is what drives you?
you are likely to find all your efforts eventually blow up
better to work from a space of balance right off . . . same logic works with relationships
as I said, an imbalance in one is often a mirror to an imbalance
make your choices "for you" not for someone else -- do this and your life will magically transform
the key to all happiness is choosing "the means" for yourself