if you DON'T understand what is going on, are unaware of the reasons BEHIND THE SCENES that are REALLY driving your behavior
then
you do not
it is that simple . . . some things people understand why they do it; that they can change fairly easily
some things are deep down in the bottom of the subconscious; those they cannot
and in those cases, there is little changing what's coming
since there is little conscious steering of the vehicle