My Near Death Experience was just that. I was Near Death (as in, literally, right next to it). That death was the death of my daughter, who I saw delivered stillborn on March 5, 2006.
That experience ultimately had the same basic impact on my life and attitude as one might have had should I have been clinically dead myself for an instant, gone down a "tunnel of light", seen my dead relatives waiting at Heaven's Gate.
But in my Near Death Experience I never, fully, stopped dying.
The reason I bring this up is that for many of us, too many of us, the onset of a major trauma will often leave one disoriented, not fully "one's self" -- whatever, really, that means. In the tick tock go go go Capitalist world, to spend an inordinate amount of time grieving is considered a form of mental illness. But this illness (what I termed "the shamanic roto-rooter"), if allowed to fester at its own pace, will bring about the same result as one might have in the "other N.D.E."
We must die to this life in order to understand it; this is the philosophy underscoring the "born again" movement of evangelical Christianity and, on many levels, I understand where they're coming from . . . but there is a big difference between my concept of "shamanic roto-rooter" and the evangelical's born again mindset.
I see life as one giant matrix of connectivity . . . the birds, bees, trees, puppies and kitties and people of all shapes, sizes, colors and disposition all part of the divine cosmic stew. All worthy of love, all born FROM love.
In 2005, I was a high-roller, with my fancy $292,000 a year job in California, with 3 cars and 3 homes and a beautiful girl friend and all the "stuff" that comes with success -- a year later, the seed was planted, through an atomic bomb to the heart, for all that "stuff" to go adios.
It hurt -- but the moral of this story is this: when we "die" to this world, if we "allow" our connection to the divine to "shine through" then we will be re-born in a new, better light. That is what happened to me . . . that is the lesson of my Near Death Experience.