sometimes the boogie man in your psychological closet shows up in early childhood -- traumas from childhood leave a mark

sometimes this arrival is brought about by traumatic events in adulthood -- like war or the death of a loved one

PTSD is the term for this . . . and it is a true state of affairs; a good case could be made this is what happened to me after my daughter's stillbirth in 2006

but it may also be . . . a memory from a "previous life time"

I realize to some people this sounds crazee -- but I believe this "undercurrent" is at work in driving people forward . . . or sideways

and studying the emotional "residue" of past lives

can be the source of "release" for many people . . . through seeing, and understanding, the catalyst

for certain modes of thinking . . . putting these thoughts "into perspective" through the identification of "root cause"

this process has a potentially healing effect

this is why, more than all other reasons, I study past lives so intently -- in an attempt to understand the boogie man in my closet

so as to move confidently straight ahead

when you allow yourself to "want" and follow that "want" without being fully restricted or dissuaded by the thoughts you don't deserve it or that it is not "acceptable"

you set in motion a chain of "energy"

in simple terms, wanting something is the fuel that drives us

however, when you do something you don't "really want" because you've been told it is what you "should want"

then the fuel driving you forward is "counter balanced" by another force holding you back . . . sort of like driving the car with the emergency brake still on

this counter weighted state is the state of mind of most people -- conditioned to tick tock along because it is what they've been told

this is why most people's lives are similar -- because they are marching to similar beats with cars full of dead bodies in the trunk weighing them down

to fully move forward, you must toss the bodies out

these bodies, of course, are the thoughts of others planted in your mind

when you love someone, you don't care if it is raining or snowing -- you want to go see them; you'll find a way

but if you don't really care . . . well, it's snowing

this is the secret to changing your life -- stop dragging a bunch of dead bodies around in the trunk

of your "vehicle"

love what you love

dating and relationship "truth" -- Rock Stars hang with Rock Stars

meaning "don't settle"

be the best you can be -- and don't take second best, either

better to be alone than in a relationship you don't like -- because you have less chance, and time, to attract one you DO want

I love thrift stores . . . but I never have had a "thrift store" girl friend

believe in yourself and find people "on your level"

don't look for relationships to "complete you" -- be who you are, the best you can be at the time

own it . . . and good things will happen

hang with your tribe because you love them, not because you feel obligated to "endure them"

more than anything, this "choice" will change your world

more quickly than anything else

not all things that "haven't worked" in your world are necessarily "bad" as they may have served as a backdrop for you in which you could more easily understand things that will "help you" later on

or they were perhaps a chronological "place holder" gently nudging you into the "right place right time"

also helping ensure you had a certain core understanding of "who you are" when that "right place right time" finally showed up :)

however, I think it is always important to look forward, with the most positive attitude possible, with the highest expectations possible

beating yourself up is not in your best interests -- maybe it "served a purpose" but ultimately that purpose can only be realized

once you flip the switch and start doing things and thinking about things

in ways that will lift you up, not tear you down

the pain is purposeful -- but no fun

I choose fun . . . and choose, as much as possible, to learn from past pain

so as to maximize the probability of future "pleasure"

it's a choice -- although not all choices are "conscious"

as your consciousness "expands", so, too, the "control" of your choices

pain was positive if it helps you re-align for later . . . but why live in pain

this is the "switch" we are all seeking to flip

and more than anything, helping people find this switch is what "I do"

why does the "Law of Attraction" and "prosperity consciousness" seem to work for some and is a disaster for others ??

if someone writes a positive affirmation, yet deep down they believe they are "unworthy" of the thing they are "affirming"

their subconscious "scripting" will rebel against the affirmation -- and set things in motion . . . more often than not to make things worse, not better

until one gets at the root cause -- how you see yourself

then the key to the Law of Attraction doesn't actually turn on the motor, it only frustrates the person trying to start the car

things like "The Secret" are beautiful, but tell only half the story

until you understand why you "see yourself" as you do

you will continue to "attract" the thing most in line with your internal script

your "catalogue of the universe" card will be rejected

until you first pay the price for "activating it"

most people only want the "Law of Attraction" Debit Card

it wont' work, though, if there is not already a "positive balance" in your account

there are some "auras" that jump out -- indicative of a special "something", typically a special skill or talent, one that comes "pre-loaded"

the most common place to see this is with musicians, as great musicians have the most unique auras

but when I see that "extra something" it is always a trip . . . a rare thing to see, but unmistakable

this woman has that special "pre-loaded" talent

a gift, straight from jump -- quite literally, a born (make that "re-born") musician

some old Mississippi Delta blues man is to her what Adrienne Ames is to me

pre-loaded, out of the box

literally, born to play

here is interesting news -- something I didn't know, literally, until this evening

My great-grandmother Hughes was a "full-blooded" Apache

. . . why no one ever thought this entertaining enough to mention to me, I find "interesting" indeed

"oh yeah, our grand-mother was half-Indian"

I said "what !!!!" and when my head stopped spinning I got the full scoop, as my cousin and his wife are genealogy hounds and have met many of the Hughes cousins

so the Apache blood line I have heard about all my life from the Hughes side of the family, my paternal grand-mother

was actually MUCH closer than I thought

so, it appears as if I am actually 1/8 Apache and 1/16 Cherokee . . . plus, supposedly another strain somewhere of Cherokee, too

wow -- this rocks

again . . . WHY did I not know this ?????

I guess my cousins thought I did . . . my father always talked about Indians on his mother's side of the family (and his grand-mother died before he was born

what fabulous news :)

I had the most AMAZING EXPERIENCE yesterday afternoon . . . I was walking from the apartment to the gym, about 3 or 4 blocks

and I saw a deer . . . this is right in the middle of a fairly congested area, with apartments and stores

but there is a creek that runs through the area and it is wooded, but not very big

in all my years in Hamilton -- and I was born here, went to school here and have spent 5-6 months a year here since 2010 . . . I have never seen a deer before

so I walked over and stood there, watching

the deer saw me, looked at me, checked me out and went about her business -- eating lunch

I stood there, probably 10 minutes and then she went down the bank to the creek so I walked over (about 20-30 feet) to the bank of the creek, still about 30 feet away from her

and watched her

she continued to just go about her business, very diligently looking at me and then back to eating

I was there for about 20 minutes when she started walking towards me -- she stopped maybe 7-8 feet away

she stood there just looking at me and then after a few minutes she came up on the embankment to where I was and moved over towards me, again stopping about 7-8 feet away

this went on for almost half an hour . . . then she went over to the trees and started eating, her back towards me (maybe 12-15 feet away)

I thought "I wonder what would happen if I sat down -- I would be even LESS threatening" and so I sat on the ground

and when she saw me she just stared at me and walked straight over to me, no more than 5 feet away

and just stood there

after awhile she walked off and up the other side of the creek -- all together we stood next to each other at least 40 minutes

I have never had an experience like this with a deer . . . all the while she stood next to me (and I assume it was a girl based on the way she peed) I was trying to "telepathically connect" with her

and, far as I can tell, on some level it must have worked

a beautiful 40 minutes, one I am not likely to forget